As if it weren't enough that Hurricane Sandy has reduced the R train to a work of fiction and the G train to an even more mythical beast, the A, C and F trains are set to become as abominable as ever in the coming year, with the MTA planning extensive repairs on all three lines. Though by then, the Earth will probably be a swampy, soupy mess, and we can just travel from ruin to ruin by lava-proof boat. These are the dreams that keep you afloat when the F mystically morphs into an E mid-commute.
Though the MTA has no exact time frame as to when this will commence, a spokesman tells us they expect to begin repairs on the Cranberry (A and C) and Rutgers (F) tunnels sometime after work on the R train finalizes, which is supposedly in October. Then, you can expect the closures, detours and shuttle buses to roll in, as the MTA tells us with partial shutdowns are planned on all three lines over the course of several weekends.
There is good news—the MTA says the A/C and F closures "won't require round-the-clock work." But there is also bad news—the Clark Street Tunnel and Canarsie Tube were also damaged during the Hurricane, which means we can probably expect more shutdowns on the 2,3 trains and the L train in the future. (The MTA tells us there are no plans to close the lines "yet," but we've been burned too many times).
Now is an excellent time to quit your job, build a bar in your own home and stay indoors forever until your body fuses with the sofa like those creepy sea creatures in Pirates of the Caribbean.